


Maths in DADA

by SimpleSoul_Shipper



Series: Harry Potter inspired by Tumblr [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Dolores Umbridge Bashing, Friendship, Gen, Harry Potter is So Done, Harry Potter is a Little Shit, Humor, Inspired By Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23526790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimpleSoul_Shipper/pseuds/SimpleSoul_Shipper
Summary: Inspired by a tumblr post, Harry gives Umbridge the percentages of her attacking him during the course of the year, it happened to all the other DADA Professor's after all, she isn't an exception.
Series: Harry Potter inspired by Tumblr [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1692100
Comments: 7
Kudos: 354





	Maths in DADA

**Author's Note:**

> The 'T' rating is only for swearing, not for Umbridge prejudice towards literally everything.

Harry was rapidly losing his patience with Umbridge, ignoring the mini-Hermione in his head that insisted he call her Professor, she clearly had absolutely no idea what she was getting into.

Didn’t she realise the position that she’s in? After what’s happened to all the previous defence professors she should be more careful, after all, the one’s who pissed him off got the worse end of the stick come the end of the school year, maybe Umbridge will soon be sharing a room with Lockhart.

Harry groaned when Umbridge focused on him, you know what, _fuck this shit_. If this toad women was going to try and give him a hard time he may as well play up the previous years and give her some merlin damned perspective on her position.

Umbridge gave a pathetic sigh and spoke to him in her annoying squeaky voice. “Mr. Potter, regardless of your previous years in this school, do you expect to be attacked in my classroom?”

Harry nearly snorted, apparently neither Umbridge nor the Ministry knew a damn thing about what happened here, okay, you know what, I can work with this. Time to play up the curse.

Harry gave no smile or frown, he spoke clearly and with no emotion, “Yes, based off the previous years I expect to be attacked by you”

Umbridge froze, apparently, she either didn’t know about the previous teachers or she thought that she would be exempt from the curse. Unlikely bitch.

The rest of the classroom was frozen, though Malfoy looked more like he was anticipating something entertaining, better give him a show then.

Umbridge chocked, “What?”

Well, she really couldn’t get it into her head huh. Guess he needs to spell it out for her then.

Harry continued, though he spoke with more of a bored tone, he needed to present it as inevitable after all, “I mean I’m running four to four”.

“Mr. Potter- “Oh, was Umbridge going to stop him? Fat chance of that.

Harry eyed his classmates before continuing without pause, “Quirrell tried to chock me out”

Not to mention the fact that Voldemort was on the back of his head, but that might be too much for Umbridge, if she asks him to elaborate later he wouldn’t mind giving her all the details of how Voldemort’s been back for a few years now.

“Mr. Potter- “

Nope, she wasn’t going to stop him here, “And Lockhart tried to wipe my memory”

As well as leave his beast friends sister to die, not to mention all the stuff he’s done to other people over the years, it’s a good thing he’s in St Mungo's were he won’t cause any more damage to innocent people, perhaps that’s where Umbridge should go.

“Mr. Potter- “. Oh, she was getting louder now.

Harry didn’t pause between speaking though he did send a mental sorry to Remus. “Of course, Professor Lupin didn’t mean it. He just forgot his potion, but still, totally went werewolf on me”

Not to mention the fact that Sirius was innocent and him being attacked by about 100 Dementors and barely escaping with his soul attached.

Actually, that’s a thought, did Umbridge have a soul?

“MR. POTTER- “. Oh, she was really getting mad wasn’t she. Well she shouldn’t have pushed him with her attitude at the beginning of class then.

Oh, looks like Malfoys barely holding in his laughter there, I wonder what it would take to get him to crack? Come to think of it the rest of the class is like that too.

“And then Moody turned out to be an escaped death eater in disguise”

And the rest of the fucking tournament, honestly, how anyone could want to participate in that thin was beyond him.

“POTTER!”

What, no mister? Looks like she’s lost her patience, one last thing then.

Harry gave an Umbridge a grin, “So, yeah, I figure it’s 100% you’ll attack me in June, 50/50 you’ll try to kill me, with a 25% chance of an Unforgivable curse”.

Was that a snort from Malfoy? Yes, Success!

Wait, was that right? Better check then.

Harry turned to Hermione, she looked like she was holding in laughter too, she gave a nod as he turned though, looks like she was up for messing with Umbridge too.

“Did I get the math right?”

It wouldn’t do to get it wrong after making Malfoy snort after all.

Hermione shared a grin with him, serves Umbridge right after all, if this girl was willing to set a teacher on fire then she was ready for some classroom humiliation.

“Yes”


End file.
